How To Talk to Your Ex About Vacation Plans
Navigating a conversation about family time with your ex-partner is likely not at the top of your to-do list. Several things could go wrong, like your schedules not aligning, you can’t agree on the destination, or you don’t know how long to take time off. However, you can turn a potential battlefield into a cooperative alliance with the right approach. Here are some tips for talking to your ex about vacation plans.
Do Not Tell the Children First
Breaking the news about a vacation to the kiddos can be a delightful rush, but the rules change in the ex-game. Springing vacation surprises on the little ones can put unnecessary pressure on the co-parenting dynamic. Before you secretly plan that epic Disney trip, huddle with your ex-partner and discuss how and when you’ll share the news with your children.
Review Your Child Custody Agreement
Your child custody agreement is not a suggestion; it’s the agreement you both made in court. If vacation plans don’t align, now is not the time to channel your inner law scholar and look for loopholes. Respect the sanctity of the plan, and prepare to propose adjustments that respect it.
Give Advanced Notice and Be Clear With Your Intent
Vacation planning is not a riddle to solve on the spot. One vacation planning tip for divorced parents is to give advanced notice to your ex-partner and be clear with your communication. Notify your co-parent well before the departure date, and be crystal clear about your intentions. Explain where you’re going, for how long, and what it means for your child or children. Clarity here goes a long way in establishing trust and reducing potential misunderstandings.
Be Respectful and Listen
When approaching the topic of vacation, do it with respect and an open ear. Vacation planning is the stage for collaborative co-parenting at its finest. Listen to your ex’s concerns, and acknowledge that their apprehensions might be rooted in love and care for your shared family. Setting an example of respect will pay dividends in your co-parenting relationship.
Focus on Solutions, Not Problems
Keep in mind that vacation planning is not about the struggles but the strategies. Engage in conversations with a problem-solving mindset. If a summer camp throws a wrench in your plans, ask your ex-partner if they can be flexible. Rather than dwelling on problems, focus your energy on finding common ground and solutions.
Nothing brings you more joy than the look on your kids’ faces when you tell them about your upcoming trip and you’ve already talked it out with your ex. Remember our tips on how to talk to your ex about vacation plans; this conversation doesn’t need to have high stakes! With good intentions and a positive mindset, you and your ex can work through this!
