4 Unique Challenges of Modern Motherhood
By Lindsey Nicole
As I loaded my groceries onto the conveyor belt, the cashier, probably in her 70’s, commented on how much easier motherhood seemed these days than it was for her generation of moms. I glanced at my two children — my toddler staring blankly at the nursery rhymes on my cell phone, and my infant in the carefully-selected baby carrier, hoisted comparably on my hip. Motherhood certainly didn’t feel easy, but this interaction left me thinking: do we have it that much easier than previous generations?
Interested in others’ take on this, I took to parenting groups on social media, where this subject struck quite a discussion every time. While the modern conveniences, medical and technological advances, and greater knowledge of today’s time is well-recognized and appreciated, this doesn’t dissolve modern moms of the unique challenges we face, many of which were previously unheard of. Here are 4 of the greatest challenges of modern motherhood:
THE ABSENCE OF A VILLAGE
Motherhood nowadays is often described as isolating and lonely, and for good reason. Though it still takes a village to raise a child, for most moms, this village disappeared generations ago, leaving the burden of raising children solely on the nuclear family, even moreso, the mom.
Nowadays, moms spend the third trimester prepping freezer meals for the family to eat after baby’s arrival, returning to work as early as six weeks postpartum, and dealing single-handedly with the challenges of raising infants through teens.
Rather than turning to their village, moms now rely heavily on healthcare providers and online communities for advice, support, and reassurance. We no longer have experienced mothers at our side, walking us through breastfeeding, infant care, and beyond, but instead, find ourselves sifting through the myriad of books, articles, videos, and doctor visits, which seldom offer personalized advice catered to the individual mom and baby.
Rather than offering genuine connection and understanding, parenting groups on social media often leave moms even more confused and less confident in their every decision as a parent.
INFORMATION OVERLOAD
A mere generation ago, information had to be actively sought. Nowadays, moms are bombarded with information everywhere they turn, and because so much of it is contradictory, moms are left second-guessing their every move.
Moms are now inundated with information on how to parent — from infant sleep to children’s psychology to academic excellence and everything in between. To sleep train your baby or not? Is gentle parenting really the solution to your challenging toddler? Which extracurricular activities are essential for your teen’s social and academic success?
What’s more, the very same things that are prized one decade, or even one year, are condemned the very next. The latest and greatest baby item one year is recalled the next due to safety hazards, and childrearing practices considered the norm one generation are found to be wildly dangerous the very next, leaving moms questioning the safety and effectiveness of virtually everything we use and do.
Our virtual world also sets wildly-skewed expectations for moms. The “Pinterest-worthy” crafts, recipes, and parties filling our news feed daily leave many of us feeling as if motherhood has become some type of modern-day competition — one that we’re never bound to win.
Unfortunately, our children aren’t immune from these skewed expectations. Social media has taken peer pressure to new levels. Teens often fail to recognize how artificial the lives are that their friends and idols share on social media and mistake it as others’ reality, leaving them in a constant state of feeling lesser-than.
Our constant exposure to the latest news also skews our perception of reality and leaves many parents living in a constant state of fear for their children’s lives. Hardly a day goes by without news of a mass shooting, dangerous product recall, or child abduction, leaving viewers under the impression that danger lurks around every corner.
SCREENS, SCREENS, EVERYWHERE
Having the internet at our fingertips is one of today’s greatest conveniences, but it, too, comes with its own set of disadvantages. Never has the world been so connected, yet humans so disconnected from one another.
The false sense of connectedness and our preference for virtual connection over physical connection has only made motherhood more isolating, and our children haven’t fared any better.
Rather than visit the homes of neighborhood kids or ride bikes around the block until sunset, kids nowadays insist on staying home to watch television, play video games, or scroll their social media for hours on end.
Parents are often pressured into giving their children phones. It’s no longer unusual to find elementary-aged children with smart phones, oftentimes out of necessity due to extracurricular activities or other circumstances. With each passing year, it gets harder and harder to avoid giving into kids’ constant requests for a cell phone. Besides, every other friend has one except them, right?
Be it exposure to adult content or safety risks, the decision to allow our children access to the internet is becoming an increasingly-difficult one. Our children are being exposed to material nowadays that would have been deemed highly inappropriate just a generation ago, which some parents feel is forcing our children to grow up sooner than what they should.
EXPECTATIONS OF THE MODERN MOM
Despite the absence of a village and, in most cases, family to help with the children’s upbringing, modern moms feel pressured to live up to wildly-unrealistic expectations.
In addition to the idealistic, picture-perfect home we feel obliged to maintain, we are also expected to keep up with the barrage of extracurricular activities that children are often enrolled in, maintain a workout routine in hopes of staying fit, prepare our family scratch-made, healthy meals, find time for self-care, and nurture personal friendships, because after all, “we can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Expectations surrounding moms in the postpartum period is no exception. Thanks to celebrities showing off their seemingly-perfect 6-week-postpartum figures as if this is the standard, it’s not unusual for moms of young babies to feel obliged to begin diet or exercise regimens in an effort to quickly reach their pre-pregnancy weight.
Thanks to ever-rising living costs, wage stagnation, and the continuous rise in income inequality, many moms no longer have the option to stay at home to raise children full-time. Yet, working outside of the home does not dissolve them of their duty to still give 100% of themselves to their children’s upbringing and the upkeep of the house.
From the disappearance of a supportive village, to the constant influx of information streaming through our screens and the wildly-unrealistic expectations on moms nowadays, it’s no wonder why we’re left feeling more overwhelmed than ever with parenthood, and equally as confused about many of the parenting decisions we make along the way.
Busy mom of 3, writer, and Certified Nutritionist, Lindsey Nicole, aims to inspire and entertain moms worldwide with her playful, honest, and relatable take on all areas of motherhood and nutrition.
